Let’s face it, we’ve all been schooled a thousand times about being part of a team. It will build character and enhance self-esteem. Don’t quit the team, you’ll be known as a loser… Parents, coaches, teachers, peers, there’s no shortage of sermons. Many books and articles written in the literary self-help-land are quick to jump on this bandwagon, as well.
Let’s look at team building in a more meaningful context. For something to stick, per se, it should have something in it for us, right? By the way, let me digress…. Everything written in my blog has benefits to “trying it on.” (…another one of those Landmark sayings). There’s nothing wrong with us, and our thinking, it’s just that something else is possible when we look at things from a different perspective. Trying it on, gives us a chance to look a little more closely at our perspectives and our opinions to see if there may be another way to accomplish a goal for ourselves, make something a bit more workable in our lives.
Okay, so now we can look at team building. It’s one thing to build a team of people to complete a particular task or project. We set up task lists, accountability logs, meetings, and then finally the finished project rolls out at some agreed upon period of time. I’m going to say, that creating teams in every aspect of our lives creates an environment where things are WORKABLE, able to be accomplished with less barriers, less friction, and maybe with more fun??!!
Life is full of rules – rules at home, rules at work or school, rules in the community and rules in the world. Approximately 24 years ago, I had my son participate in the young persons’ Forum, through Landmark Education – very valuable, by the way. He was eight or nine, and still doesn’t know what that was actually about. Whatever…. Anyway, the instructor said to the parents separately, “You as parents have no relationship to the rules in life.” And she waited…, Then she said, “How do I know that you have no relationship to the rules in life?… Because your children have no relationship to the rules of life.” She explained that life has rules, and if we don’t teach them these, someone will. It will most likely be an unpleasant experience. That stuck in my head, still today. If we aren’t creating rules for the people in our lives, our relationships become unworkable. Unmanageable. Dysfunctional. Finally, intolerable. Without going into this discussion just yet, leads to marriages and families breaking down, and to poverty, crime and more dysfunction.
RULES AT HOME: Rules between couples. Just as an example, a young couple starting out, one such rule could be sharing cooking duties. Maybe Monday, Wednesday and Friday, one person does the cooking, and the other agrees to cook on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, and they go out to eat on Friday evenings. There is no confusion by setting up a task or chore like this. Both parties agree, this is a workable team building plan. Perhaps, one or two nights per week can be spent cooking together! Now you are adding fun to an otherwise mundane task.
PROJECT FOR CREATION: Come up with ideas where putting in some structure, guidelines, or common goals worksheets can produce more fun between couples’ and families chores. Look, no one wants to do these things, we’ve worked all day, cared for the children, mowed the lawn, etc…. Taking the time to create team building can lead to less misunderstandings, arguments, resentments, and on a positive note can lead to more joy in “other rooms of the house.”
I used to tell my kids, I’m not here to yell and argue with you – we need certain things done in the house and everyone can pitch in. It makes life more workable, everyone feels supported, and then you get on to the more fun aspects of life – spending time with each other. It’s ok to reward those who have a committed interest in seeing these things through.
A little preplanning and having family meetings once a month can start to create a dialogue and an inquiry into what the eventual goal might look like to create a more workable structure to daily lives. Our relationships with our spouses, children, parents, siblings, extended family, work spaces, careers in general, friends and social lives are all dependent on how well these teams work. It’s possible you may be hearing, “Ohhhh no, not another thing to be responsible for, or to have to work on, or something else that hasn’t been working well in my life, another thing I’m going to fail at….etc…” Anything worth having, is worth doing! Incorporate team into your routine and it will become a natural way to do things, and after about 10 weeks, (which is about the average time it takes to make a habit) you’ll start to see the rewards of doing things a more efficient, meaningful way. This is also a valuable COPING mechanism to teach your children and employees, coworkers etc.
Be creative and concise in your communication with your family and coworkers – No one will jump up and down when mom or dad says, “We’re having a meeting about putting structure into our lives.” Uggggh. Make it fun, interactive with snacks or a backyard picnic. Make it a game, quick, spot on, and most importantly, implement a plan. Saying, “This is what needs to happen, here’s a sign-up sheet, etc.” There are apps that can help with this too. I use When I Work app for my employees, and we love it. They get emails and messages as to what’s going on, who’s doing what shift or you can add tasks… There needs to be acceptance by all parties to make it work, so some may be resistant to it, but you know your family and coworkers.